I was just wondering how fast is too fast to fall head over heels for someone? Like should you be dating like over a year before you fall in love? And is there a such thing as love at first sight?
I was just wondering because I have always been a person that gets emotionally attached to guys too fast. I have always found it difficult to follow a certain protocol as to when something should be done. Oh, I shouldn't cook for a man until he deserves me to do it. Or even how soon is appropriate to have sex for the first time. I usually just go with my flow. Sure I've been hurt numerous times along the way, but I always figured that I wasn't the one with the problem. And eventually God would send someone my way who appreciated me going out of my way. I like to cook, clean, take care of my man, take care of myself, etc...And in the past men have all taken it for granted.
I do believe that this time around I have found a good one. He is very mature and has his shit in order. No kids, a great job that isn't in danger of disappearing due to current layoffs in the economy, and he had never been married...oh yea has his own house. That is a little too good to be sure, I'm sure everyone is thinking. Shit my mom and I was thinking the exact same thing. I haven't found any major problems. He does have a trust issue we're working on due to his ex, but so far so good.
I feel like I have been living in fast forward for so long, and now I get to slow down. Who knows maybe you guys will see me with a big belly in about 1yr. Only God knows
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Due to contrary belief there are a “few good men” out there….I think you guys are both blest to find each other, and hopefully you will have a fairly tail ending….
i do not believe in protocols when it comes to matters of the heart either. There is no way to put a time on LOVE, when it happens it happens and you will know when it happen. However, the prolem comes in when people do not understand the difference between LOVE and LUST. There is a fine line between these two so be careful not to confuse one for the other. the unfortnate thing about love is that you have to fall into it, u can not just walk into it. to BE IN LOVE can not be plained it is an unexpected fillilng that manifest it's self in many ways.
Now, when it comes to sex i feel there should be some type of protocols. I am not willing to give it up to a man after the first date( no disrespect to the woman that does). You see, people value sex very different. For some it may be just to have fun, but for others it may run a little more deeper than that. I have learned that the longer you have to wait for things or the harder you have to work for things the more you appreciate them. Women we hold power, and men know this. I refuse to let the number of sex partners i have accumlate. Every man aint worthy of the precious goods GOD was so kind to bless us with. And men dont be fooled by the words women like to tell you "your the only one". SOME women are just as big of hoes as men. It so easy for a women to tell a lie and to never get caught. Unlike yall, we are good at what we do. SO be careful who u decide to have sex with, cuz you never know how many men were before you or hell even durning you time.
Hi Antonette, I read your blog and have one recommendation, for all it's worth: find yourself a Mediterranean man. With the exception of the upper class, they tend (it's only a trend) to be less critical. All this discussion of protocol and procedure, while suitable for the business world, seems sorely misplaced in the realm of love. If you are really attracted to your new man, then why should the timing for events such as cooking, sex, etc. matter so much? You should do those things when the moment feels right; not try to abide by some kind of unspken code of mores. There is a difference between having a brain and being judgmental; it is great to find a guy who is intelligent and who questions your thoughts, while not needing to categorize your behavior as appropriate or following proper protocol. I guess that precludes acceptance and intelligence. As for having a home, career, and all the rest, if you are really in love, I don't believe that these materialistic aspects should matter so much as the character of the man. Sometimes people who are going to have the materialistic elements that you're looking for will find them later in life. Your perfect man might be going to school right now, and he will have the home and career in several years. Maybe he will attain those goals more easily with your love and support!
I have been hurt many times in different ways, and I've recovered and found success even after experiences that would cause others to fall apart. While I certainly see the residue from my experiences and often fear intimacy, I do not let it hinder me from loving the world. I hope that you do the same; do not allow your previous pain to keep you from loving your new man. He can only really love you if you put everything into it.
You know, I knew that if I typed in a few key words, I would find someone who espoused an identical view. Sure enough, I immediately found this beautiful quote that really delivers the message:
“love life, engage in it, give it all you've got. love it with a passion, because life truly does give back, many times over, what you put into it”
Maya Angelou
-I don't know if the person who wrote this wants me to add their name-
I'm currently trying to find the one person as well. So far, things haven't been spark, pop, and fire. However, the more I learn about my friend the more I like finding out more about her and spending time with her. So when it comes to following a code book on how to do things I don't know either. I'm just doing my best to be upfront and honest about things now so that its already out in the open. No point in going further down the rode and finding out that things just aren't going to work.
I found that the girl I've been getting to know is into me since I manage money well, cook, clean, and have goals, etc. I just find it tough sometimes to find out more detailed information about her and asking the right questions. Its tough.
What anonymous said on November 17! What she said! LOL! Can i getta AMEN!!! Preach preacher!
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