After talking to many of my guy friends and my own rough (nice way of phrasing) experiences with men, I have realized that men really don't have a SINGLE clue about women. I mean this is 2009 and most men have had their mother's in their lives and still they are completely obvious. It simply amazes me. So, I'm gonna take this time to give men just a bit of help. I figure something is better than nothing.
SO, here we go...men please pay attention and women please feel free to add anything that I may leave out.
1) If your interested in a woman, speak to her. Don't send your boy, don't stare and yet say absolutely nothing, don't wait years wishing you had spoken, and if you did wait years u would find out she had a crush on u all along but was hoping that you would speak to her. (Whew.. a mouthful already!!)
2) Learn to be appreciative. Remember that your not guaranteed anything and that everything she does for you is truly because she cares about u. As soon as she feels like your taking her kindness for a weakness she will stop doing what she does that you like "Oh so very much". Or if she starts to feel that you EXPECT her to do it, she will be irritated that you expect it. A simple "Baby, I really appreciate when you do...., ur amazing". LOL something like that. Appreciate how she turns heads, appreciate how she treats u, appreciate how she goes out of her way for u (when she doesn't have to), appreciate meals, appreciate presents, and appreciate that she's your girl AND NOT the next dude.
3) RESPECT HER!!! I'm thinking this should've been first, but keep in mind this is in no order of importance...it's all important..lol. So, respect..so much could be said. Respect her how u would respect your mom or how u would want someone to treat your mother/sis/daughter. If you treat those ppl crappy, then in a realistic world, it's gonna be difficult for you to treat your woman any different..and you might need a bit of therapy...just a suggestion. Respect her time, respect body, respect her intellect (just a few)!!
4)Learn how to simply agree to keep the peace.
Ok..so women get frustrated, annoyed, bothered, sensitive (sometimes hypersensitive), irritated and sometimes we simply just don't want to be bothered..and it may seem that these all mean the same things, but for a woman it really does have very different meanings. I understand that for a man that this can be quite confusing and probably overwhelming at times. A piece of advice: agree without sounding like your patronizing her, apologize if your annoying her (remember she could simply be annoyed by your present or even just anyone's presence...sorry),
ask if she needs anything or if u can help in anyway, maybe buy her a massage or spa day (you can do this whenever, so this is not limited to these moments only), or just stay away, while reminding her your here for her. There you go men.
5) Take care of your woman. When I say take care of your woman I don't mean you have to buy her crazy lavish gifts when u kno good and well ur on a tight budget. It means letting her know she's appreciated. This is a really big one men. I'm gonna try to break this down big time
- A simple text/phone call (PHONE CALLS R USU BETTER):
I was thinking about u.
I saw something that reminded me of u
I miss u
I hope ur day is going great
FYI: if you do too much already over text then u need to stop, we need to take it old school..pick up the damn phone!!
-Get her nails/hair done
-Dinner (at home or out)
-A picnic
-Something unexpected
-Something thoughtful: I will give an example of this. So one year for Valentine's my ex did something so amazing and extremely memorable. This was during track season and my coach wanted me to lose some weight, I had to cut back on sweets. So, for Valentine's day he made me a box of chocolate box (I hope that makes sense)..like a heart box out of cardboard box, spray painted it red and everything..it was huge, like half my body. It was so perfect and he filled it with track goodies: beef jerk (which I love for meets), all types of snacks, and a coloring book w/ crayons for traveling. It was amazing. I loved it and cherished it. It was by far better than any jewelry or anything else I have EVER received..it came from the heart...all mushy and stuff huh..lol
So, guys this was just a bit on insight....I hope that is was helpful. REMEMBER MEN: What you won't do, the next man will..Know when you have a Dime and Learn how to treat her/Keep her!! 80/20!!!
Ladies like I said before feel free to add more. Men if you have more questions simply ask..MUAH!!
9 comments:
i like it...some of the stuff i already do and some of it i need to live by :-)
its like u stole my play book, you right this is simple, the biggest thing is that females are gonna be females once you get over the fact that some shit isnt gonna be right that u good to go lol
ok thats cool and all but nett, these men these days will read this and listen but go and still do the total opposite. lol
tasha
It's interesting... a lot of men know how to take in truth but not know how to apply it. Especially at the times when women need it the most. I'm not gonna front. Sometimes I get lost in translation. But for me, I'd have to find out everything a female likes and dislikes. I mean I can't bet a girl roses if she likes tulips. No need to give hints of surprises if she doesn't like them. Someone told me at one time that every female has a love language and that it's necessary in every (growing) relationship to learn what that is. I guess that's what I'm trying to say. Anyway good stuff. Definitely some things to take in.
Thanks for the post :). Only thing is my situation sort of get screwy when it comes to the whole text messaging and phone call thing. We've gone from phone calls to text to im, and yet she still wants to try and do things as communication degrades whats up with that?
Mr. Anonymous at the bottom...
All I can tell u is closed mouths don't get feed. If you want her to up her communication skills u need to tell her to do so. You put the ball in her court, now it's up to her to decide what she's gonna do.
I'm gonna tell you something my friend had to tell me (this would apply for after u told her this):
If she doesn't change then she simply doesn't like u. At least not enough to change. When my girl told me this I almost cried, but it's a harsh reality. People change for things/ppl they want in their lives.
This is deep, and very helpful! we all know relationships are hard thou. sometimes Partners do act like there's a book thats been read and we guys should know the answers to everything, however i see its just better to ask for help... who knows
Well said, I guess you may be right about the deal though. I may press the issue once more and after that just let things take their course as I've already been trying to make it happen on my end. That's probably a good metric too, if a person is willing to change its almost similar to them investing in a relationship.
I have mastered all these skills and am suprised you know anything bout this! LOL! You giving great advice to those boys who are not yet men though. Keep it up.
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